This Little Boy's Life: The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss...A Wacky Book of Opposites

My mommy really is a stalker!!!

Jacob Says The Darndest Things...Section Devoted to All the Crazy Things I Say...

~ On a recent visit to Wal Mart my daddy loaned me the money to buy some Star Wars guys. Upon returning home and finding no bucks in my wallet, here is my response to my daddy. 'Daddy, I don't know where my bucks went. Maybe the 'Buck Man' came and took them?' ~

~Grandma is sad about Bonnie dog, we should share one of our doggies with her.~

~I arrived at school the other day to find my buddy Matt waiting for me. As I walked through the door he told me that we 'needed to have a chat.' He didn't appreciate the way I had treated him the day before and he wasn't going to stand for it. I told him I was sorry and asked if we were still friends? Matt said yes and then handed me a monter truck to play with. Yahoo for conflict resolution little boy style. ~

~Staring at my mommy's belly I asked her why her tummy didn't have a window like a house, so the baby can look out and I can see in. I'm dying to see my baby brother!~

~Shopping with my parents at Home Depot my daddy picked up these sticks, he informed me they are for stirring paint. My daddy asked me what else we could use them for, and I replied without missing a beat, 'Spanking our puppies on their bottoms.' Ouch!~

~ Conversation while my lunch was being prepared: Daddy, how does God make us? How does he put our arms on? Maybe he staples them. That might hurt!~

~ Shortly after finding out that I would be a big brother, I asked my mommy if there were toys in her tummy for the baby to play with. When she said no, I was puzzled. What is it doing in there, if there are no toys?
I then had to ask if there was at least a table in my mommy's tummy so the baby could eat. Again, she told me no. I was very alarmed that my baby 'someone' had no toys or a table. How do they eat? I asked my mommy. Still don't understand what she is talking about when she says the word placenta. ~

~After attending his first circus with Daddy, Jacob came home and quickly announced to me: 'Mommy, I'm not a big fan of clowns either, we can be twins!'~

~'Mommy, I don't want you to leave me with anyone when you and daddy go to a movie.' 'Nobody Jake.' 'No, nobody mommy except maybe the Wolf Pack Cheerleaders! I like it when they dance.' (I can't make this stuff up!)~

~ After a snow storm me my mommy and I were driving to school, past a lot of pine trees. I asked my mommy why all the trees were decorated for Christmas. ~

~ My mommy asked me if I wanted to be a big brother or sister (I have a lot of kids at school who are becoming such things) in the car this morning, and I said yes. Then she asked if I wanted to be a big brother to a girl or boy and I said boy (shocking). I paused for about 1 minute then I told my mommy that rather than being a big brother I wanted to be a Dragon Warrior. Thank goodness I'm an only child. ~

~My mommy said something insane at the dinner table the other night. I don't even know what it was and I just had to look over at her and ask her 'Where do you come up with this stuff?' ~

~ That was quite a Super Bowl!~

~Driving home from school the other night I informed my mommy that I had my eye on her by announcing, 'I have my eye on you!' ~

~After popping a red jelly bean in my mouth I got a very strange look on my face and announced to my mommy, 'This one is a little bit spicy.' While I had my thumb and pointer finger demonstrating 'little bit'. I then ran to the bathroom to spit it out. Guess I don't care much for cinnammon~

~My mommy and daddy were tucking me into bed tonight, and my mommy insisted on tucking me in...I told her: 'I know how to do it mommy, I'm a big boy!' ~

~Christmas Eve:
Jacob: 'What was that?'
Mommy: 'What?'
J: 'What was that noise?'
M: 'I don't know, but I don't think I heard anything.'
J: 'It must be SANTA!'

~Daddy, There is a Storm in my Room!!!~ Said in the middle of the night as the wind howled outside.

~ 'We can Dance if we Want TOOOOOO! ~ Sung in tune to the Men Without Hats song...you know the one. There is also a dance that goes with this.

~ As my mommy and I drove home we saw flashing lights and heard sirens of a fire truck coming towards us.
Mommy: 'Jake do you see the fire truck?'
Jake: 'Yes, and I hear the siren.'
M: 'Looks like there are two fire trucks.'
J: 'Well actually mommy the second one is an ambulance.'
M: 'You are right it is a fire truck and ambulance.'
J: 'Yep, there must have been an accident.'~

This Little Boy's Life

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss...A Wacky Book of Opposites

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Jacob Says The Darndest Things...Section Devoted to All the Crazy Things I Say...

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